Life is busy. I get it. We all have 101 things we need to accomplish before the end of the day and an even longer to-do list weighs heavy on our shoulders that needs to complete by the end of the week and yet another list by the end of the month.
Bosses need reports and budgets. Emails need to be sent. Dishes are piling up in the sink. Laundry is never ending. Kids need help with homework. The baby is crying and the husband can’t find his keys.
Okay, so that whole crying baby and husband scenario doesn’t exactly apply to me. Hahah
But the pressure to get it all done still rings true, no matter our situation or status.
Right now I am looking at my handy-dandy dry erase board. It is tattooed with a list of 12 things I would like to accomplish today. My fellow Type-A-ers will understand when I say that just looking at it gives me a little sense of harmony. For years I have known that I harbor some traits of a type-a personality. I love making lists. And I love even more to cross things off when they are completed. (Again, I know that several of you know exactly what I mean by that!) J
However, since living in Africa, I have been forced to adopt a more go-with-the-flow attitude. I now realize that it is more reasonable to believe that only half of the items on my list will actually get done today…and I am (somewhat) okay with that.
Yes, I am doing my best to adapt and assimilate into this nonchalant culture…but it would be silly to think that I have been cured of my list-making, type-a, get-it-done personality. Truth is, I have yet to fully integrate into this new way of doing things. There are days when I get frustrated and I just can’t seem to understand why nothing can get done. And when things finally do get accomplished…it is days or even weeks later than expected. Needless to say, there is a lot of waiting that happens here.
Which should not be much of a surprise to me at all.
For a while, it seems, I have been in a season of waiting. And while somewhere deep inside me, there is a little voice saying, “Hurry up already!” there is another voice—a quieter voice, saying, “I’ve got you right where I want you.”
For months and years I have been waiting…for a lot of things. Each time my prayer or circumstance returns results different from my expectations, I catch myself thinking petty little thoughts like, “Should’ve known,” or “Of course.” Fortunately, I can say that such thoughts are becoming less instinctual. No, I don’t want to wait. It think it is human nature—more specifically, American culture, that makes me desire immediate results. But I am confident that there is deeper meaning rooted in each circumstance that requires me to wait. Most importantly, God has been using those times to teach me a thing or two. Rather than asking Him to hurry the process along, He has been teaching me to be patient. Instead of looking so far forward, stationing my eyes on the final result, He is softly saying, “But look at what I am doing now.” He is asking me to be still. To trust Him.
Trust…what a deeply complicated concept…but more on that another day.
For now, I feel like the life lesson God wants me to know is that He has not forgotten me. He hears each prayer and He knows the desires of my heart. He is not putting my cries, tears, or yearnings on a shelf while he deals with more important things. I am a child of God—I am what is important to Him.
No, He is not forsaking me. Instead, He is softly reminding me that every good and perfect gift comes from above. (But not always according to my timeline.) His timing is perfect and my good and perfect gifts are on their way. He is just taking a little extra time to make them more perfect; more grand and more extravagant than my mind can even imagine. It is going to be worth the wait, I am sure of that.
In the meantime, He is giving me little gifts each and every day. It is up to me to receive them. What a shame it would be if I allowed my waiting to distract me from seeing the beautiful work He is constantly doing around me each day.
So, as my heart is stilled by His constant and overwhelming love, here are a few glimpses into the sweet gifts He has been giving to me every day:
|This young man LOVES Jesus and aspires to be a |
pastor of his own Deaf church some day.
Several times each week he asks me to teach him
a new scripture. He watches intently and is
always excited to share with the other students.
|You can't beat the beauty of a Ugandan sunrise.|